The Verb to Love
by shatterednight
Summary: Malfoy isn't the way he is by choice, but no one's ever given him a chance to explain. They didn't care really, until one day he goes missing. (slash HD)


**The Verb to Love**

**By: shatterednight**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. don't belong to me- unfortunately, I only own the plot**

**Warning: contains slash, which means yaoi which means boy/boy love which means male/male love which means gay love so if that isn't your cup of tea I suggest you turn just click the back button now, before reading ahead**.

Chapter 1: Broken Message

Somehow, I always knew that this is how it would all end. No matter what choices I made... they couldn't have changed anything could they? Are they even real or just illusion? You know, I can't ever remember making you laugh, or even smile, and that, to me, is horrible. To me, your happiness is the world. My world ended the day I saw tears in your eyes and knew that they were my fault. Did you really think that I hated you? Why wasn't there some way for you to see? Why couldn't you see the real me? I thought that you might be different, thought maybe you could see past these lies. I never wanted to do it you know... but I didn't have a choice. But you could never understand- or even believe- that could you? You don't have a family, and know, those muggles that you live with... they aren't your family.

Family... that word... I remember when I was small, before my mother became so distant, so out of reach to me... she told me that family doesn't have to be blood...they don't have to be the people that you live with. She told me that family is where you can be yourself... where you have a sense of belonging , people who accept you for no other reason than that you are you... The place where it isn't money or title or looks, it's just you... I've never had family. I guess that I never will. I just... hope that you will... just don't give in, you have the chance that I will never have...I know that none of this can make sense to you, but I just had to tell you... I love you.

vv

Harry read and re-read the tear stained parchment, tears coming to his eyes once again. Malfoy had been missing for a week before they had found the letter. It had been in a plain parchment envelope, the only labeling having been his name, written in graceful cursive. The letter on the inside was written less graceful handwriting in crimson ink. It had still been obviously written by Malfoy though, and in a hurry. Some parts were barely legible. It was so unlike him to do anything imperfectly though... But then, it was unlike Malfoy to run away either.

What had happened? Was this real? Or was this just some sick joke, Harry wondered to himself. He shook his head slowly, putting his fingers to his temple. When had he ever started worrying about Malfoy? The slimy git was probably hiding somewhere getting his laugh while half the school was worried sick about him. Besides, he didn't have time to worry about his nemesis; he had to prepare for Voldemort's attack.

Harry's thoughts were interrupted by a noise outside his door, and when he opened it, all he saw was a piece of folded parchment outside his door. He quickly picked it up, shutting the door behind him as he went to sit back down on his bed. He held the letter in his hands carefully, wondering what was inside of it. He opened it quickly, eyes skimming over the dark reddish-brown ink, then reading it more slowly, then once more, trying to make sense of the words.

Harry,

Meet tonight 12:00 room of requirement alone please

There was a long line of ink as thought the letter had literally been ripped away from the hand of the one who had written it. The handwriting was almost illegible and Harry didn't recognize it from anything that he had seen before. Harry frowned at the coppery smell of the ink, before recognizing it. Blood. He dropped the letter to the floor the very moment that he recognized the smell. The letter had been written in blood! Harry lay back heavily on his bed and groaned; he didn't know what to do anymore... all he knew was that if someone was in trouble he had to help them. He closed his eyes as he sighed again, feeling a faint throbbing in his skull, and he barely noticed as he slowly drifted off into a fitful sleep.

vv

"Harry…hey mate, wake up! Harry!"

Harry groaned and he turned over, picking up his glasses in the process and setting them on the bridge of his nose.

"Ron… what do you want?"

"Sorry, mate, but Professor Dumbledore wants to see you."

Harry sat up quickly, running a hand through his ebony hair. He yawned before he stood up and stretched.

"Thanks Ron."

"Anytime, mate."

Ron left him, shutting the door behind him. He knew that Harry needed to be left alone right now.

About 20 minutes later Harry found himself standing in front of the stone gargoyle that marked the headmaster's office. It was only then that he realized he didn't know the password.

_Damn._

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